Ever have one of those days where everything just goes from one disaster to another, and right when you think it's gonna get better, it just gets even worse?
I'm on a long trip, the wife, the kids in the back, luggage and gear, the whole deal, and a radiator hose on the car blows out, antifreeze all over the place, I pull over. It's a broiling day where we are, (just south of Bakersfield, CA) and I realize that we passed a small town a few miles back, and I'm gonna hafta walk it to get a new hose. Everybody's complaining, and I start out.
After a couple of miles, I see an auto parts store, (yay!)and I also notice a nice beer bar. Well, I'm in pretty rumpled shape, and a cold one just sounds too good...
A few cold ones later, I suddenly remember this situation which needs to be dealt with, so I stumble over to the bartender to pay, only I'm feeling for my wallet, and suddenly remember I left it under the armrest in the car...the bartender is unamused, and is making sidelong glances at the State Troopers who I suddenly notice are looking at me, wondering what the commotion is.
I cleverly employ a diversionary tactic involving an imaginary elephant lurking at the rear of this establishment, and make a hasty retreat. The sun's going down, so I figured what the hey, I've got a good chance of vanishing from the notice of the now-
very alert Officers.
I hadn't covered a quarter of a mile down the highway when all of a sudden, my senses are overwhelmed by the screaming Police car, sirens, guns, bang, bang, the whole nine yards...I'm feeling pretty tense by now, as I'm sure you can understand, when I notice I am on an overpass, and there is a streetlight rising from the street below, and it's within arm's reach...
So I leap for the pole, and shinny down as I hear the Police go screaming by just above me. I hit the street, and it's deserted, I mean there is
nothing there. But after awhile, a chevy van pulls over, with an attractive woman at the wheel, I figure what the heck, and climb in.
Well, I won't bore you with the details of what happened after that, nor try to describe the interior of this van, except to say that I had never previously seen leopard-print sheets on a bed in a van before!
Anyway, next day, I once again remember the...ah...Situation, and I begin to think that perhaps I might be in need of legal counsel, and Cecily (that's her name,) offers to take me to a phone booth.
So I call my attorney, Bernie, (I like Bernie because his name rhymes with his profession,) and reach him in his Century City office where he's been living since his wife took off with his custom van. And everything else!
Anyway, Bernie is asking me all these D.A.-style questions, and I'm starting to feel like it's gonna be okay until we get to the part about my present circumstance: "So anyway, Bernie, this wild chick picks me up, and the next thing I know, Cecily, she..." and I stop because I suddenly remember Bernie's wife's name is Cecily...and *click*, the line goes dead. Oh, mannnnnn....
Hoo, boy. You ever have a day like that? No?
Good. Me either.
Whew! 
Linear Mode
