[u]From "Clumsy Crooks" newsletter[/]
America's jailbirds don't give up. Disappointed by the criminal justice system, this plucky lot still has faith in the civil side. Last year, the states spent
$81 million defending what state attorneys general called frivolous lawsuits.
Here are a few favorites:
A San Quentin death row inmate sued California, claiming his civil rights were violated because his packages were sent via UPS rather than the U.S. Postal Service.
I would have requested FedEx
A Virginia inmate tried to sue himself for $5 million on the grounds that he had gotten drunk and caused himself to violate his religious beliefs by committing a crime. Because he had no money, he wanted the state to pay the $5 million.
Your tax dollars at work 
A convicted New York rapist sued the state, claiming he lost sleep and suffered headaches and chest pains after being given a "defective haircut" by an unqualified barber.
Bad hair day?
A Nevada inmate sued when he ordered two jars of chunky peanut butter at the Nevada State Prison canteen and received one chunky and one creamy.
Puuuleeeeeze!
A Arizona inmate sued when he was not invited to a pizza party
that prison employees held for a guard leaving his job.
Ya...sure...
A Indiana prisoner sued because he wanted to obtain Rogain for
his baldness.
OK, chrome dome 
A Ohio inmate sued for being denied possession of soap on a rope.
I'm not touching this one!
A Oklahoma inmate sued because he was forced to listen to
country music.
YEEEE-HAAWWWW!personally, I like country music
A Colorado con sued for early release because "everyone knows a
con only serves about three years of a 10-year sentence."
When they should be serving at least 20, because they got a lenient sentence.
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Is it just me, or is the "criminal justice system" in need of a major overhaul? Something along the lines of this: If a convict sues on frivolous grounds and loses, they should receive an extra day in prison for every dollar that they cost us taxpayers 
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