Murphy's Laws of Combat

[ClubMed]

Thought these were quite good
hope they haven't been posted before

Murphy's Laws of Combat

If the enemy is in range, so are you. Incoming fire has the right of way.
Automatic weapons --aren't.
Suppressive fire -- won't.
Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
There is always a way.
When in doubt, empty the magazine.
Teamwork is essential. It gives them someone else to shoot at
No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.
No inspection ready unit ever passed combat.
The easy way is always mined.
Beer math: two beers times 37 men equal 49 cases.
Body count math: two guerillas plus one portable plus two pigs equal 37 enemy KIA.
Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together.
Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.
Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.
Tracers work both ways.
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: (a) when you're ready for them and (b) when you're not ready for them.
Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.
The important things are always simple.
The simple things are always hard.
The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
All 5-second grenade fuses will burn out in 3.
If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.
When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
Murphy was a grunt.

[caddmannq]

Yeah, I posted them wayyyyy back when.

Still funny though!

[Sohgin]

If you don't know if they've been posted before, then they have.

[Tekk]

lol....Murphey's Laws are amazing

[Kuasimodem]

Murphy was an optimist

[Chooco]

murphy should be the new mod

he's always right though. like George Costanza said on Seinfeld
"THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IS AGAINST ME!"

[SickPup404]

One more that I remember from "back in the day":

Friendly fire isn't...

[Warthog]

Here's another of the same type of thing that I saved:

Commandments of Operational Security

I. Thou shalt not park thy helicopter in the open, for it bringeth the rain of steel.
II. Thou shalt not expose thy shiny mess gear, for it bringeth unwanted guests to chow.
III. Thou shalt not wear white T-shirts, or thine enemies will dye them red.
IV. Thou shalt provide overhead concealment, for thine enemies' eyes are upon thee.
V. Thou shalt cover thy tall antenna, for fly swatters groweth not in yon wood.
VI. Thou shalt use a red lens on thy flashlight, or it shall appear as a star in the East.
VII. Thou shalt cover the glass on thy vehicle, for thy glare telleth thine enemy thy location.
VIII. Thou shalt blend with thy surroundings, for trees groweth not in yon desert.
IX. Thou shalt cover thy tracks of thy vehicle, for they draweth pretty pictures.
X. Thou shalt cover thy face, hands, and helmet, for thine enemies maketh war not on bushes.
XI. Thou shalt not drape thy net on thy tent, for it looketh like tent draped in net.
XII. Thou shalt hide thy wires of thy cammo, for they pointeth to thee.
XIII. Thou shalt practice the art of dispersion, or one round will finish you all.
XIV. Thou shalt pick up thy trash and litter, for they exposeth thy presence.
XXV. Thou shalt conceal the noise of thy generator, for thine enemies are listening.

[ClubMed]

lol Good one's.

I came across the first one while researching for one of my posts in one of the political threads here hehe...