taken from
www.penny-arcade.com
Penny Arcade's MoH: Pacifism Mod Fosters Understanding Between Axis, Allies
(SEATTLE, Wa) - April 7th, 2002 - In a concerted effort to combat the rampant bitchery so commonplace on America's servers, Penny Arcade (Nasdaq: PENN) announced today its plans to lay these complaints to rest.
"It's often been said that the Germans are out of real men," said Penny Arcade Operations Manager Johnathan Gabriel in a Sunday morning press conference. "It's gotten to the point now where killing anyone with any weapon singles you out as some variation on 'whore.' I'm not sure what the proper 'killing another person' etiquette is, but no matter how I do it, someone's feelings get hurt."
MoH: Pacifism alleviates these concerns in a bold move that is sure to send shockwaves throughout the industry. "We don't think these shockwaves will actually hurt anyone," said Penny Arcade co-creator and model airplane enthusiast Tycho Brahe. "We're hoping that they'll be low enough to, you know, jump over."
Penny Arcade's Pacifism does away with the dangerous World War 2 era weaponry, replacing it with sharing and dialogue. Gone are are the shotguns, rifles, sniper rifles, grenades, submachine guns, machine guns, pistols, rocket launchers, and anything else that shoots, blows up, or is, in any way, pointy. Each player spawns with a special cupcake that they can give to the player of their choice, and any time cupcakes are exchanged, these two players become best friends and may attend the other's birthday party. Points are awarded for being courteous, opening doors, and pulling out chairs. Soldiers frolic and caper amidst new blossoms which carry the scent of spring.
MoH: Pacifism is being readied for a Q5 on a breaker-breaker one-nine, that's a 10-4, big dog. You've got a "smokie" on your tail. Over.
Penny Arcade, Inc. is a wholly owned subsidiary of Walrus Design.
Walrus Design is a wholly owned subsidiary of another wholly owned subsidiary.
That wholly owned subsidiary is a wholly owned subsidiary of Satan the Devil.
Linear Mode
