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Old 04-09-2002, 09:00 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Good joke... Or is it real?

I'm not sure if this transaction actually happened, but it's funny either way.

Enjoy

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

"If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In
response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:

l. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy
a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut
off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought CarNT,but
then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive-but would run on only five
percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.

9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure" before deploying.

10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, and
turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor
want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the
car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a
target for investigation by the Justice Dept.

12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
same manner as the old car.

13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

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Old 04-09-2002, 10:22 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Some of this really happened. Bill Gates did say that and GM's CEO (not sure who it was at the time) did response with #1. The rest have been added over time I think.
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Old 04-09-2002, 10:51 AM   #3 (permalink)
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lol

Poor Bill. He brings so much on himself. He should leave it at "It works...sorta". I guess thats not a good way to market stuff though.
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Old 04-09-2002, 01:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Heard this one the other day at work, in an auto plant!

And BillG: Why not admit that you have a 'good' product, not try to make all of the stupid claims about performance?
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Old 04-09-2002, 03:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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he did say that cars were behind computers but i'm pretty sure he didn't badmouth himself and his company........ bill is smart believe it or not
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Old 04-09-2002, 06:26 PM   #6 (permalink)
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If MS made a car...

Its hood would be welded shut because it's already "perfect" and needs no tweaking or improvement.

You would need to warm it up for 5 minutes after shutting it down incorrectly.

It would contact Microsoft about your driving habits and where you go.

It would suffer a divide by zero error when the fuel tank was empty and would display C:/> in the dash.

It would try to drive itself and ignore your input.

A change of tires would require product activation.

If you called in about knocking noises, MS would tell you to call your fuel manufacturer for compatibility updates.

MS would release an update that improves the look of the car, adds 750lbs to it, and leaves the horsepower where it is.

Every 3000 miles, the Oil Change Wizard would start.

The car would require new drivers for a new air filter.

There would be a MediaPlayer in the dash displaying hypnotic garbage while you're trying to drive.

Once a week you would have to leave the engine running overnight for a defrag session.

If you are planning to upgrade your car's horsepower beyond 256, you have to download a patch which unfortunately conflicts with the braking system.

The car's APM won't be able to shut it down so you'll have to pull a spark plug lead instead.

At stop lights, the engine would do 6500 rpm because it was performing background tasks and besides, you're not using it.
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Old 04-09-2002, 06:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
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LMAO!!!! Toooo Funny!!!!!!
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Old 04-09-2002, 06:43 PM   #8 (permalink)
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..it would suddenly stop on the freeway after 30 days until your "register"
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