Got puns?

[crystaldragon]

Here are few

1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backwards poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's
your count that votes.
6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll
show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully
recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would
result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

[Agent_Embryo]

made me laugh alot! thanks!

[Lemon[H]ead]

Good pun from a newspaper, but first a little background. Inverness Caledonian thistle (known as Caley for short) are a little football club from the highlands and Celtic are a big football team. They met once in a scottish cup game and inverness caledonian thistle Beat celtic. The headline on the daily record???

SUPER CALEY ARE FANTASTIC CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS

(hint for the culturally uninitiated: a play on Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)

[Graham]

Not a pun in the true sense, but an unfortunate conjuntion of circumstances.

In cricket, there are, amongst others, bowlers and batsmen.

During a match between the West Indies and England, when Michael Holding (WI)was bowling to Peter Willey (E), Brian Johnston, the commentator, uttered the unfortunate line

"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey"

...... live on air !!

G