My g/f. I need HELP! thanks.

TonTo · 04-01-2002, 07:28 PM

Ok, here's the situation. Me 'n my g/f haven't been able to see each other a whole lot lately...

She works 2pm to 10pm, all week, has the weekend off, then works during the week, as wed and thrusday off, then works the weekend... so it's like a 2 week thing... on 'n off.
then, march 21st she had sinus surgery. (week before last) she had all last week off... I went an saw her at her place, on tuesday, that was the only day she could fit me in.

all the rest of the week, she's been out with her friends, we had a date for friday, she calls me at 4:30 and cancels, saying she's going to stay with her friends because she'd have to leave to go back to her place at 11 anyways, so we wouldn't get to see each other much anyways. but, we'd get together on saturday, and spend ALL day together.

She shows up at my place at 3:30 in the afternoon on saturday.
I tell her, hey, i want to see you more, i'm sorry, but, if i wanted an online relationship, i'd goto yahoo chat, or if i just wanted to talk to someone on the phone, i'd go grab a phone book.

now... i'm a lil pist, because, she woulda had to leave my place at 11pm, but, she could stay at her friends till 3:30 in the morning( i know she was there, cuz she called me when she left)

Now, i'm a lil bit pist... am i really being to "attention hungry" as she called it, if i want to see my g/f more than 12 hours a freakin week? am i really being a prick for getting pist that she'd have to leave my place at 11, but can stay at another place till 3:30. and, this isn't a problem about her parents rules, or her rules or anything either, lets get that clear.

So, is TonTo an "attention hungry prick"
or his he a jusifyably pist of and hurt b/f?

any idea's on how to solve this situation. i mean, 12 hours a week, can you base a real relationship off that?

oh yeah, and when i went to her place, we were sopposed to go out... well, she didn't feel good cuz she'd stayed up till 2:30 again and was tired, so we just stayed in her room and ordered her a laptop.

04-01-2002, 07:34 PM

yep justifiably hurt b/f sounds ok to me....

Whats with her that she doesn't want to spend more time with you?

Angela · 04-01-2002, 07:36 PM

Unfortunately, it sounds to me as if you are more serious about this relationship than she is. You can't make her want to see you more, so you have to decide if she is worth it. Life is too short to feel as if you're butting your head against a brick wall all the time.

I'm sorry this reply isn't more helpful.

CERuppel · 04-01-2002, 07:59 PM

My question is about the friends she was with. Were they old time, best buddies? Might have made a difference with the parents compared to the B/F.

And about that schedule; Ouch.

Been there and done that, and all on its own it killed more of my relationships than any two other things (just wish it had killed the one with my ex).

TonTo · 04-01-2002, 08:03 PM

nope, her leaving at whatever time she decided was completely her decision... parents don't have any say in the matter.

and the friends, no, not really long time old best friends....

i dunno, it doesn't make sense.... she's the one who's always saying "i love you " though....

Knothead · 04-01-2002, 08:04 PM

I was going to say something, but the preceding 3 posts already said it perfectly.
Doesn't sound good, buddy.

Quote:

Unfortunately, it sounds to me as if you are more serious about this relationship than she is.

Bingo. If you feel strongly about this relationship, then you owe it to her to sit her down and negotiate. Let her know that this is not acceptable. It may even go so far as having an agreement about the ratio of time w/her friends and time w/you.
If she won't do that, then you'll have to re-evaluate the relationship. Good luck, guy!

caddmannq · 04-01-2002, 10:32 PM

OK.
IMHO, Women's relationships to their peers (other women) are more important to them than their relationships to men.

Men's relationships to their peers (other men) are more important to them than their relationships to women.

Nobody admits this, but 48 years of observing humans have shown me that it's so, in general. People who don't follow this pattern are usually gay.

Don't ask me why this is so. It just is...My Humble Opinion.

Be patient. Give this relationship some time. She'll either "come around" or not, and then you'll know where you really stand. And remember this: it's nice to get it while you're young, but the older you get, the more women become available to choose from. For women it's just the opposite. It's God's little trick on them, I think.

thekingofpain · 04-01-2002, 10:42 PM

Sounds like you may need a "back up" g/f or 2 or 3...

Warthog · 04-01-2002, 11:15 PM

I 2nd the evaluation....sit down with her (make an appointment.....).

TonTo · 04-01-2002, 11:24 PM

tkop.... TonTo may mean stupid and foolish in spanish.... but, 2 or 3 g/f's? dude, it don't mean flat out crazy boy with a deathwish