K-Mart, Inc. Acquires TechIMO

[Chooco]

i tried to lookup who her ex is on google but i can't find it... i found this though:
Martha Stewart: A Day In The Life

4:00 Wake up, dress (note to self: buy more blue shirts).

4:10 Spray bangs.

4:45 Bang pots to wake up roosters.

5:00 Workout. Treadmill, 3 mile run, 350 sit ups 212 push-ups.

5:12 Mow 153 acres with power mower, fix transmission.

7:00 Breakfast: hover over cook as she prepares truffle omelet. Criticize.

7:30 Crank call ex husband.

8:00 Hold stopwatch to ensure timely arrival of film crew.

8:30 Tape show. Prepare Beef Wellington with Ma, Walnut Blue Cheese Coins and Pink Heart tuile cookies.

Rewire a lamp create Fortuny inspired lace tablecloth and build under the bed storage box.

12:00 Tell mother that she won't work in this town again.

12:30 Lunch: Bologna sandwich.

12:45 Call ex and hang up.

12:48 Call daughter and tell her about bobby pin in the Louis XVI night table. Ask if it belongs to her.

13:00 Drive to Omnimedia while recording editor's note detour past ex's house.

14:45 Say no to every proposal submitted by board members. Rephrase their ideas as own.

16:00 Don floppy hat and check K-Mart for product placement. Have shelf-stacker fired.

16:30 Drive past ex's house.

17:00 Write script for next day's taping.

17:01 Teach cats to sing.

17:35 Sit in Suburban with binoculars and scout for trespassers.

18:00 Call daughter and ask her if she knows where nail file is.

18:45 White glove test in furnace room after dinner.

18:30 Create new colours and think about getting all rights to red.

18:40 Fire drill.

18:45 Call daughter and ask if she phoned. Make up something about being in the shower.

18:48 Have 4 pizzas sent to ex.

19:00 Whip up a night cream out of mayonnaise and egg shells.

19:20 Bedtime.

[Knothead]

Originally posted by caddmannq
I don't mean Scotty! I mean TechIMO! Our 57,000+ members!

OK...K-Mart is still worth about 75 Billion. That means if we (all 57,000 members) chipped in just 1.31 million each, we could buy the sucker lock, stock & barrell!

But if we could get, say, Brandon to start a real run on the stock, we might get it for mere peanuts!

Great Idea! If Brandon could accomplish that, I would imagine we'd be in a bargaining position to offer, say, a mere $700,000 per member...first thing we do, we abolish the blue light special, and make them black-light specials; it would do WONDERS for the ambiance of the store...

This would leave us with approx. 57,000 rotating blue lights, which we would then re-wire into HATS for the new owners...

I think this would go a long way in distinguishing the TechIMO members from the rest of the crowd...

What FUN!

(Can't you just SEE yourself running up and down the aisles in your TechIMO blue-light hat going, RRRrrrRRRRrrrRRRR!)

[caddmannq]

Hmmm...may be close already. The latest news I read starts "K-Mart, a $39 Billion company...."

That's only a measley $684K each!

Ok, here's the plan: Every member goes to K-Mart & buys a pair of Cherokee pants. Return them all the next day. Then the rumor goes out "Nobody want's their clothes anymore!"

Watch that stock price tumble like a ruptured duck!

I want a hat!

April 1?

[Knothead]

Hey, Shahani! Got $684 K?
We're all gonna buy K-MART!!!
We're all gonna have SNAZZY NEW HATS!!
We want you IN ON IT!!

[caddmannq]

Hey, if my Cherokee refund ploy works, it'll only be $64k by Wednesday!

[MegalosSkylaki]

I own K-Mart and I can assure you that the news of the acquisition is greatly exaggerated. We bought the Internet from Al Gore who invented it.

DOOOOG

[Bob The Great]

I'm in!

Do we get martha stewart too? If so we should lock her in a plain white room with peeling paint on the celieng, and flickering lights (just out of her reach), a mettle table (screwed to the floor), and a mettle chair (screwed to the floor), and see how long she lasts! heh heh

[caddmannq]

Nahh...She'd figure out how to make lovely table decorations out of peeling paint and spit.