How would you handle a suicide threat?

[thekingofpain]

I have a support group of over 600 women and this is the third time ive had this happen in 4 years---a member posts a threat of suicide describing the method and measures they are taking to accomplish this, these have been longstanding frequent members (like here) on all 3 occasions---what do ya do? get involved or just not worry?

I recieved over 100 emails from other members overnight telling me to do something---what can I do? all I have is an alias and maybe a 1st name to go by but it only took me 15 mins this morning to find this woman, a Police officer did a "welfare check" in a half hour and called me back, maybe intervening (she voluntarily checked herself in for observation)

This causes incredible embarrassment for the individual but brings alot of attention to the situation and gets the attention of the family and friends, but they hate me afterwards, she had the fortitude to write me a long message saying how ive done nothing but intensify her already serious problems before hitting the hospital (the other 2 did the same thing)

What would you do?
Sure, this is the "internet" and people sometimes say things they regret or otherwise---but being a support group we tend to share alot more about our personal lives and I believe it brings us closer together---
I know if a friend called me saying they were going to kill themself I would immediately react in a similar way, I guess its a social delemma for me---to get involved or not...

I can only hope their family and friends would wanna thank me later...

[TonTo]

If someone says they're gonna kill themselves... what do they expect?

[Sohgin]

I would rather have 100 people hate me and have saved someone's life rather than have 100 people not even know me and stood by while someone was killed.

I'm with sohgin on this one...
Besides I don't think they will feel the same way in a year.

[edwelly]

she had the fortitude to write me a long message saying how ive done nothing but intensify her already serious problems before hitting the hospital (the other 2 did the same thing)

I am not for sure I understood this. Could you explain on more of a 3rd grader level for me...
--edwelly

[Warthog]

The reason she posted was the same reason she was going to commit suicide - a cry for help. Even if she does not conciously acknowledge that now, she will eventually, once she gets better.

Warthog

[Reno]

I would assume that most of these "suiciders" just want some attention. Of course you will have a couple who really mean it, but I would say the majority have attention deficit probs, esp around the holidays. Talk to 'em and make 'em feel special, in other words lie through your teeth to give them what they want, attention. Of course if you have no patience for this then tell em to go F themselves, but that would be just rude!

[ClubMed]

The most important thing to do is to buy time IMO. If you can contact the person tell them to wait, yes wait. Talk to them and make them trust you a little. Ask them to promise you not to do anything until the both of you have talked about and tried a different approach to the persons problems.

Try to get info about them, coax it out of them. Name, address, phone number.

Maybe meet, or hand over the info to someone or some group that can help.

Usually voicing interest in suicide is a final cry for help. In other words they wish help, and this is their way of saying it. It doesnt allways mean that suicide will take place a few minutes, hours, days or weeks later.

good luck, hope this advice helps in any way.

[Knothead]

Originally posted by Sohgin
I would rather have 100 people hate me and have saved someone's life rather than have 100 people not even know me and stood by while someone was killed.

Right on. Not an easy position you're in, TKOP.

But it is an admirable one.

And a validation on Club Med's reply as well.

[dday]

You did the right thing no matter what the other party is thinking right now !
You can let your conscience rest, because you acted on the intuitive knowledge that this individual needs and wants help.
Obviously, because of your moral and ethical foundation you felt compelled to acted in their best interest, whether they know this and understand this now is really immaterial.
bottom line is, You did the right thing !