My Grandpa just passed away, don't know how to feel.

[Ritalin Kid]

I just got word from my mother that my grandfather passed away from cancer.. I never really got to see my grandfather to much.. he was a great guy from what I remember when I was younger he was a bigger part of my life... he gave me my first computer... but since he remarried he became more interested in his business and his new family.. I haven't had a real conversation with him since I was 10-11... I am now 20 going on 21... Though I don't hold it against him he's not been a part of my life so long I don't know how to feel.. I mean I'm sad but not histerically so.. My mom did tell me that before he died he wanted me to know that he loved me and he wanted to tell me that but he passed away before I could even get on the road.. but I still have to go to the funeral and that's gonna be the weird part... cause I don't think it's really gonna hit me till I see him in that casket.. but I've never really been phased to much by death cause I never saw it as bad or good... I just see it as another part of life and now he no longer has to worry about paying bills or getting needles poked in him or taking another chemotherapy treatment... now he can just rest and that makes me kinda happy that he's no longer in pain.. but I don't want my family to think I'm some twisted bastard cause I'm not completely tore up about this...

Man is life so confusing..

[Cruez]

I feel for you, Im sure it can be confusing after that much time passes...

[caddmannq]

Too bad, Rit. I lost both of mine when I was young too.

As I am a grandpa now myself, I'll tell you how to feel.

Feel glad that you had that time together, and the happiness you could give each other; and feel glad that you're still alive.

That's what he would have wanted. He wouldn't want you to go around moping about just because he's gone.

I don't want anyone to mourn my passing. I want them to remember what they liked about me, and be happy.

[Knothead]

Rit, It sounds to me like you are beating yourself up because you think you should have more bad feelings about this than you are actually experiencing. Well, the person you knew was somebody from 10 years ago...and absence does not neccessarily make the heart grow fonder..not after 10 years, anyway! I think your present feeling is appropriate, under the circumstances, IMO.

You can't command feelings, they just happen that way, okay?

God forbid you should lose somebody who is close to you in your life right now...but if you did, I'm sure you would discover in very short order that you are not "some twisted bastard"...

I think you're just being honest with yourself.

Oh, and 2nd on what Cadd said.

[BBA]

My condolences.

[markuy06]

Rit
I send my condolences for your lose. I also see that you have some fond moments and memories with him and about him.
That is the real thing. But let me ask you what was once asked of me.
Why are you crying? Is it because you know they are going to a better place and you can't go with them or wait to get there?

The statment said to me after the question was. if missing them is what you may feel. What will you remember them by?

This really made me think of the time a had with them and the family and friends I have know, if they were to leave this land tomorrow how would I feel or how would they feel if I left.

The mark we make on the people we know and love, are what they will remember and charish us for. That is my reason for being who I am.

RitKid, everyone deals with loss differently. chances are, I bet you are kinda on the quiet side with a lot of your feelings.

If they know you they won't think anything but that it's your way of dealing..
I'm sorry buddy, you know how to find me if you need anything later.

[Knothead]

If they know you they won't think anything but that it's your way of dealing..

I'm sorry buddy, you know how to find me if you need anything later.

Well said.
Me, too, buddy.

[Sweeper]

Everyone one deals with things in there own way. I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Don't feel strange or different because your feelings are different from those of your friends or family. That is why we as humans are known as "individuals". No one will look at you any different. Take care. Again, my condolences.

Sweeper

[jman01pa]

Everyone one deals with things in there own way

I am sorry for your loss. I am not very close to my fathers side of the family and have recently had some deaths. I too wasnt sure how to deal with it. The key is too be yourself and let your feelings and time sort things out. You may never grieve like you feel you should. There is no "proper" way.

Take care.....


J