ladies, help with valentine

[golfcart]

Ok I'm goin to try to make a long story short...

There is a certain female that I have a huge crush on. Up until last week, she had a boyfriend of 3 years. I have been friends with her for a few months and would like to take the next step now that he is out of the picture. I am not sure if doing something or buying something for her on valentines day would be a good idea or not. She may feel that I am taking advantage of her situation, which is not the case. Basically what I need to know is if it would be a good idea to use valentines day to make my move or just take my time. Not quite sure what I could do to please her. She is a florist so flowers or candy is not going to work. Also, taking her out is not going to happen as she will be working all day. I do have the option of hanging out with her after work though. Any thoughts or ideas to help me out would be greatly appreciated

[Warthog]

IMHO, I think it may be soon to get her something overly romantic, less than 2 weeks after a 3 year relationship ended. I'm not saying don't get her anything (consult with somebody else on exactly what)...just not something that says "I love you and want to have a family with you"....lol, you get the point

My $0.02

Warthog

[Bob The Great]

I here the GeForce3 Ti's are really sweet! The girls would flock to you like salmon to their place of birth! LOL

Actually I aggree with Wart. It would be ok probably to get her a "Your a great friend" type card, and MAYBE take her somewhere (best if it is with a group though). But wait a while. Get to know her better, and make sure she is the perfect lady (though I'm pretty sure she's not cause the perfect girl happens to live right near me ).

In a month or so maybe take her out. I'm hoping that you either find you really love her, or that she wasn't the right person after all.

[vass0922]

<--- agrees... TOO SOON

To show ya really care?
Heh get this...
(ok no laughing allowed either! I'm serial!! err serious )

LISTEN TO HER!!
(again no laughing :P lol)

Maybe just have a night out, catch a movie or even a movie at home "chillin' "

Prolly a comedy, or something to lighten the mood.
Nothin' too serious

And for gods sake dont watch Runaway Bride LOL

Have a nice talk, let her vent for a bit (imagine she's already done that a few times lol)

You have to remember, Valentines is going to be a rough day for her. She's been in a relationship for 3 yrs last thing she's gonna want is to think of love etc.

She's gonna wanna relax, and just take it as another day if possible.

IMO (granted I dont know her, or you) I'd stay away from valentines stuff

definately no red roses
Maybe a winnie the pooh balloon? LOL
(always works for my wife hahahaha)

[golfcart]

Thanks for the input guys. I feel pretty much the same way as you. Maybe just a nice card would be the best thing, as cheesy as it sounds. I know that she likes me too, but with the emotional roller coaster shes on, who knows what might happen if I act too fast.

[Aaron_J]

I'm going to take a different view and say:

Don't do anything.

The reason? Well, no matter what she says or what you have heard, a relationship of 3 years is by no means dead after only 1 week. The chances of her reconciling with him are way to high at this point. And even if that doesn't happen, I really think she needs some time to adjust to life without him before someone else moves into the picture.

Personally I think you would be setting yourself up for a fall if you make a move now. I would recommend maybe waiting a couple of weeks and slowly work up to a date. If you are friends with her now then simply asking her to join you for lunch (nothing romantic) or an activity with a group of friends would be a good start. (Bob had a good idea with the group thing)

Anyway, thats just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt.

What about you ladies here? What do you think of this situation?

[golfcart]

thx Aaron_J

looks like i need to add a lil more info. We have been out with friends on several occasions and have even spent the night together, just as friends. Taking her out or inviting her over, even without friends, would be no big step. I can do that without worries. I just want so badly to do something special for her without scaring her away because of the short time between things. Any more ideas??

[vass0922]

Ok folks, since we can't seem to get any of the local women to give a hand
I asked my wife for some input and here is her words exactly!

Hello! I am vass's wife, and I have had crappy valentine's days in the past, with a breakup so close to it.
In my opinion, I would find somehting REALLY fun to make her laugh and get her mind OFF the break up and the whole romantic night

PERHAPS.....find out her fav cartoon character or fav movie or something and make a theme night. I know this sounds cheesy, but sometimes these are the best nights!

If you choose a cartoon character, buy her a balloon (or a few), maybe a colouring book and crayons and colour together, make dinne together or order out and watch cartoons all night and even better, you could make it a jammie party! I know, cheesy, but hey! It will definately be different and FUN!

Maybe even decorate your place with some inexpensive toys or things to make it look all fun....I am the Dollar Store Queen, and you could find small toys and things and get her a bunch of little things that all fit together and make her a cool basket or bag of mini-gifts. But most of all, make it fun!!!

Like I said, this sounds cheesy, but for me, I am a HUGE Pooh Bear fan, and when I am down, doing something fun like this, shows me my man loves me and sees that something so silly can make me so happy...and the fact he goes along with it, makes it even more fun!

I hope this helps, and maybe, it will lead into something more for you both, taking into consideration her feelings. Good luck!

[Aaron_J]

Well, you seem closer to her then I would have thought but I still think it's way too soon even if she were to ask you out on a "date" tomorrow. There is just no way she can be ready for a new relationship. Valentines Day or not.

Give it a couple of weeks. In the meantime just continue to be her friend. And I was implying at the end of my last post, a female perspective would be useful here because: Dem wimmin dey can be some strange creatures sometimes.

[golfcart]

Wow, I might be the first to get a reply from a member's wife. I love your ideas and may be able to turn them into something that fits my situation. Thank you so much for your input. Let's keep em coming, I only have 1 day left