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Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Coeur D' Alene,Idaho
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Plz proof read!
Ok I have put this story on here b4, I just got it back and I have to fix the errors by tomorrow. Could u guys plz proof read it and only tell me if u r absolutely sure it is wrong. TY (BTW I mainly am having problems with comma's etc.)
A well known fiddle/violin player, known only as Johnny, was heading into town on March 5, 2004 to go get a half-gallon of Dryer’s Mocha Almond Fudge ice cream. When he arrived at the local Coeur d’Alene Super 1, he discovered a large flyer hanging on the front window. It told about an amazing musical competition in Atlanta, Georgia where the winner received $125,000. He immediately went home, totally forgetting what he had gone to the store for in the first place. He soon discovered that he couldn’t do anything because the competition was the only thing he could think about. It was as if somebody had Epoxy’d it to all of his thoughts. No matter what he was doing somehow the thought of it was always near by. He decided to go to Georgia and make a trip out of the whole thing.
He was glad to find out that his Mustang was taking the trip very well. He kept thinking about what he was going to do with $125,000. First I will get a new computer and I even know a kid by the name of Michael Prusek that builds awesome computers for a good price. He stopped in every state along the way to practice and get a picture of himself with something that he thought looked cool. In one town down south, he found a kid named Lyle who was smarter than his teacher Mrs. Schneider, so he took a picture with him. He finally arrived in Georgia on March 23 and felt he had made pretty good time. At about 9:30p.m he arrived at the “Hickory Stump” hotel and checked in. He got to his room, which happened to be 666, and was decorated, in red. He didn’t really mind it and he actually kind of liked it. After two hours of playing he decided he needed some fresh air. He climbed the stairs to the roof and looked out over the city. Boy this would be a nice place to live, he thought. He was about to head back down to his room when a man jumped up on the roof of the Hickory Stump. Johnny, struck with awe, stood there and wondered where this strange man had come from. The man told Johnny that he was in fact the devil, and that he wanted to make a bet. He told Johnny of a beautiful violin in his possession that was made of pure gold and he could have it if Johnny could play better than him. If he could then he would receive the violin, but if not he would have to give up his soul. “Alright, I like your offer and I will let you play first,” Johnny said and sat down to listen. The devil played very well but not well enough to discourage Johnny. After the devil had finished Johnny stood up casually and started playing. He played amazingly well and the Devil knew immediately that he had lost and handed over the violin.
“You are very good, and I am sure that violin will help you tenfold,” remarked the Devil. He disappeared and Johnny held the violin and looked it over and over, noticing how it seemed so light for gold as if it was enchanted somehow. Johnny headed back to his room and started playing. He played the same tune over and over and eventually named it “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.” The violin sounded amazing, and Johnny was sure it could make even the worst player sound breathtaking. He spent the next two days either staring at the violin or playing it. He was drawn to it like Gollum was drawn to the ring.
On the day of the contest he put on his best suit, and drove his Mustang to the Atlanta Stadium and was amazed to see so many people. After waiting for four hours, listening to all kinds of instruments and players, it was his turn. He headed up to the stage slowly, and he had a walk that later people would describe as somehow amazing, and he had an aura to him that made people just stare for no apparent reason. They all stopped whatever they were doing and turned and were quiet as if some unseen force had cut off their breath. He stopped in front of the mic before he started playing and said, “Thank you for letting me be here today and I hope you like this tune.” Young women fainted and all the guys were suddenly jealous of his good looks and charm. He played “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” and everybody was astounded by it. It was the most amazing, upbeat tune they had ever heard. The contestants that had already played realized that they had no chance and the contestants that were still to come finally broke their stares and left. Nobody could understand what had happened, they just knew somehow everything had changed, like the feel of a sudden drop in air pressure as a tornado forms. The judges instantly declared him a winner and gave him the prize money.
He decided that it was time to go home, but first he wanted a new car, so he headed to Exotic Cars Georgia and got a brand new Porsche 911 GT2. He headed out of Atlanta on I-987 east back toward Idaho. He stopped at a 7-11 in Oklahoma to get a couple cans of Red Bull, and ended up getting five cans, stashing one in his case for an unknown reason, and downed two right then. After arriving in Salt Lake City six days later, he stopped at a beach and decided to take a walk. He brought his violin so that he could play it on the beach with the waves crashing around him. While playing two guys, one larger than the other by a good 6” and 80lbs, noticed his violin and walked up to him and told him they wanted it. “Let me finish this song please and then you can have anything you want,” Johnny cried as he got a Red Bull out of his case. He pulled the tab, chugged it and started slowly rising into the air. When he got high enough so that he couldn’t see the two men anymore he started thinking. Now what am I going to do! Right then three ravens came, grabbing the back of his shirt, and flew him safely home. The funny thing is, when he got back to his house he didn’t really remember anything about Atlanta. He had vague memories of it but it was as if he was possessed by some unnatural being when he played. From then on Johnny locked up the gold violin and hasn’t played it since.
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Last edited by MitaDC; 04-15-2004 at 05:07 PM.
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