opinion check please?

[thronka]

Ok guys.. most of you know that I have a girlfriend named JJ.
We have ben spending lots of time of the phone and time with each other. I did some pondering on what I am right now and noticed our relationship is getting more serious.

Just the other day, she asked me to go with her to Tulsa during the summer (alone I assume) and go to her relatives weddings. I said "Sure. I would love to meet your family." but the conversation took a drastic turn towards a converstaion towards sex. I told her this "I am not having sex till I am married and have fianancial security to raise children. You are in no position either. I mean we are still in High School. Just because you and I are 18 and like each other alot doesn't mean we have to do this." She got mad at me and hung up the phone. Not even 20 minutes later, she called saying she was sorry.

I have to admit, saying that to her was kind of saddening (reasons you should already know) but thats how I feel.

Anyone feel I should of said something different instead of direct. Man being an adult sucks. I am used to having my parents tell me everything.

[Warthog]

That took a hell of a lot of willpower to say that - excellent job. I don't think you should have said anything different.

[thronka]

I always say how I feel.. but the way I said it with my TOV was I think out of line. Basically like a "TEACHER" yelling at his students as if they were dumb. I still feel bad about it though. Think I should talk to her about it?

[Warthog]

Of course you should talk to her again about it. It seems it ended in a rather hostile fashion. Although, I think your POV was dead on and you should stand by it, even if it means not being tempted and not going with her (something I doubt I could do).

[thekingofpain]

Have your parents told you about condoms/birth control and how adults have sex not only for the reason of procreation?
Sex isnt bad, it can be fun and will assist in building a relation to levels you havnt gone yet---I think its best to find out if you are 100% compatible before marriage, that would include sexual compatibility as well---you wouldnt buy a car without driving it first, would you?

[MTAtech]

First, I could not imagine marrying someone without first knowing if we were sexually compatible. That would be a disaster to learn after marriage.

Second, if you don't feel ready for sex at your young age, don't be pressured.

Third, like it or not, in the western world sex is a normal part of development for an adult relationship. It is somewhat unrealistic to hold out for marriage before sex when dating adults. I was 32 when I got married. I couldn't think of how weird being a virgin at 32 would have been.

[Warthog]

Sexually compatible? lol, what's that?

To make sure she has the right tools for the job??

Warthog

[novadragoon]

I would offer an opinion but i have yet to kiss a human girl

[The Real Bingo]

Yeah, hopefully your girlfriend can understand you dont want to risk anything by having sex. If she cant accept that I'd have a sit down with her and let her know whats up. It's gotta be a mutual thing [in most cases anyway], so if you arent up to it, then by all means, abstain.

[thronka]

There are days I wish I could do something (censoring my self) with her like that but in the end I always realize the problems I could get myself in. She called back 20 minutes later so I assume she understands so it shouldnt be a problem. The only problem is, this is my 1st serious relationship I have ever had. In the beginning I never had a girlfriend but then.. WHAM! there she was and we hooked up because were were in a child development class and did a project together and learned that we were alike in many different ways. We were just friends in the beginning but how it ended up like this I will never know. Might want to ask her to put in my journal.. yea I keep a journal because I don't wanna forget if I get memory loss or something.