relationship woes

[nochay]

As many of you may have seen on this board (and maybe on other boards) I can be a hard ass. I will attack people for owning a rice burner with all the accessories on it, then go on to start trouble in a thread about walmart, etc. I will get very vicious, and downright be a prick about it. I even got warned a few times on here by some of the moderators to tone it down by pm's.

I am a very negative person, and I am not afraid to admit it. I am currently fighting a invisible force to make myself more positive.

I can get out out of bed, hit the showers, feel fresh, and ready to start a new day. 2-3 hours later (or less) I will go down hill very rapidly, start making sneering comments about the neighbors, rant on and on about walmart/clear channel/the prez/rice burners and anything else that I can somehow find a way to make it negative. You have seen some of my handiwork on here, with my negative attitude.

Some examples (as early as yesterday)

http://www.techimo.com/forum/showthr...threadid=31490

http://www.techimo.com/forum/tid1059...pn2/index.html (Here was perfect breeding ground for me to start in on why ricers suck/etc, but I managed to stay on topic)

http://www.techimo.com/forum/tid2359...pn2/index.html (Here's a fine showcase of my rants)

http://www.techimo.com/forum/tid1015...pn2/index.html

Just search using my handle for posts, and you well see what a jerk I can be.

I was verbally abused as a child, and even though my 2 brothers and mom managed to rise above it, and repair themselves, I still fall off the wagon.

If you saw me in person, you would want to stuff me down a mineshaft. Due to the fact that I never felt like I really had a voice growing up, I think I started taking on other's peoples problems, and making them my own, or finding a way to make something positive into something negative. I was even ranting about walmart as early as 1996, and it has intensified to the point that people in my life will walk out, run upstairs, or just tune me out.

My dad is a very poisonious person, and I have fallen into his path also

Can anyone give me some advice on how to intercept/cope with this?

I am very close to losing 3 people I love dearly (even though I am very negative and biting around them)

It is my fault I am a negative person. I have fallen by the wayside, as the three people I love have grown up, and are way above me when it comes to the abuse we suffered.

I am fedup with the abuse, and want to be able to stop it in it's tracks. These are some plans in my head so far:

1. Work out. I do have some weight on (I weigh 186.5 pounds for a 19 year old) I feel this will give me a big self confidence boost, as well as establish myself as a trend setter (The 4 of us have tried working out before, but dropped it, so the equipment sits, gathering dust) I want to be able to make a difference, and kick start myself.

2. Dropping the negativity. I have dropped only a little, or I just bring it back full force, and even more nastier then what I did before.

I still am workin on ideas, trying to formulate what my attack plan will be. I have said "I will change, yada yada" and then fall right back into it. This time, I will workout everyday, and this I feel will build my self confidence up, once I see myself losing weight/gaining muscle.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope I haven't put you to sleep!

Dane

[Mickwish]

Dane, we mostly make ourselves what we are, are you have said. We also have the option of making oursleves something else, if we really work at it.

Sounds like you really want to change. That's a good first step. One of the best things you can do to help yourself is get a mentor. A person you trust and look up to who who you can share your desire to change with, and get them to hold you to it. Someone who knows what you are like, but has never given up on you or judged you. Someone you can meet with regularly and discuss who you are going, what trouble you had with your goals, and get their honest appraisal and advice.

Just an idea, bit for me the best mentor is one of my church leaders. Someone who knows where they are headed, knows what we are here for, and can help me stay on the right path. If you have any affiliation with a church, try sitting down and talking to the pastor or a leader there. You might be amazed at how much the might be able to help.

Sometimes a person who attacks others lacks self-esteeem, so a personal development class or something like that may help. I personally have found that respecting others comes from my belief that we are all created equal, and that our maker would want me to treat others as I would want to be treated. This helps me hold my tongue when somtimes I would lash out with it. I think of myself as important, but no more important than anyone else.

Good luck with the change, and anything I can do to help, send me a PM or email, and I'll be glad to try and offer advice or assistance.

Cheers
Mick

[Bovon]

Originally posted by nochay
Can anyone give me some advice on how to intercept/cope with this?

I do wish you the best..but to offer advice on something as deep as this may be, would be like opening a window facing the wind...and trying to expel flatulence outside.

An awful lot of negative feelings depend on race and location. Such can be rectified by relocation.

I myself was pretty negative growing up..but had my butt kicked by the neighborhood 'gangs' so many times, that I had to get a positive outlook...or die, it seemed. Not an answer for you... I know.

Deep set negativity can take some sincere help to get on an even keel...whatever is at the root of the problem needs to be located, and with time and work.. can be overcome.

Like I said... good luck!

[geeraff]

It really is impossible to offer really useful advice on this on a message board. If you feel like you need some help on this, it would behoove you to meet with a psychaitrist or psychologist.

[jman01pa]

You have taken the first step by admitting your faults but as said above you need some professional help to guide you.

You are nearly 20 years old and need to take responsibility for your own life. Your childhood may have set you on your current path but your not a child anymore. From this point on the only person to blame is you. Please get some help and enjoy life.

[Knothead]

Heya, Nochay!

I'm surprised to read that you're a mere 19 years old...I had taken you for someone a bit older. Well, no matter.

Okay, here's the deal: The first step in changing anything lies in recognizing what the problem is...

Looks like you've done that. Well done, buddy!

Next thing is, don't expect results overnite. (I bet you know that.) Life's a long adventure.

Here's the advice part: Take it easy, and just try to have an objective view about the way you fit into this big, delightful puzzle. (Note: look up and compare the words Objective and Subjective. I truly wish more people would be aware of this.) Grouches get a lot of mileage out of this concept, once they twig to it.

That's it. Please stay in touch, and you know my PM box is wide open, okay?

[Brainchild]

Nochay SaidI can get out out of bed, hit the showers, feel fresh, and ready to start a new day. 2-3 hours later (or less) I will go down hill very rapidly, start making sneering comments about the neighbors, rant on and on about walmart/clear channel/the prez/rice burners and anything else that I can somehow find a way to make it negative. You have seen some of my handiwork on here, with my negative attitude.

Honestly I think a visit with a counselour might be a good idea.I know no one wants to do that,but I have seen a good amount of change in my son who is the same way.It also could be a condition that medication can help with.What can it hurt right

Good luck

[wju425]

Not to be taken too seriousily but visit an astrologer and have 'em read your charts. They'll find what the bad influences are on you. It can be as simple as a location that's affecting you. I have a friend who's an astrologer that's pretty uncanny with his evaluations. My ideal location is Victoria, Canada where I should have a very good life. Here, my life's just a run in the mill.

\o/ Billy

[pickel]

Get the CD, casette, whatever of West Side Story and play " Cool' and the "Jet Song " and use them as your model for life. I do.

P. S. My wife says try thorozine

[nochay]

Originally posted by pickel
Get the CD, casette, whatever of West Side Story and play " Cool' and the "Jet Song " and use them as your model for life. I do.

P. S. My wife says try thorozine

what's thorozine? Everything I saw seems to say it has serious side effects!

I listen to alot of old music, frank sinatra, etc. That puts me in a good mood alot of the time

I want to thank everyone for offering me advice. I am not launching into evil corporate talks anymore, and have caught myself before starting in on a rant.

I still have made some stupid blunders recently, but I am working on catching/fixing those also.

I do wonder about the "location" of where I live. I feel that las vegas is becoming over run with riff raff from california (3 strikes law, read about it, all i will say) and the fact it is such a poisonious town. I also feel pissed off it does not know what history is. Every old casino is blown down for a bigger, worthless version. The aladdin is case in point. Sex/Drugs/Booze/Gang Bangers/Gambling is not really a great town to live in. The 1950's would have been a better time to live here, not today.

Moving upstate would be better. Reno is nice, but you have riff raff spilling over the border from california, so that is kind of a turn off. Goldfield has free land, maybe I should go there (and lots of mining history)

Thanks for your help everyone! Words cannot express what you have told me, even though it is a few strokes on a keyboard, it has made a difference in my life

Dane