I feel like im falling

[ClubMed]

[vass0922]

I hear ya cm
I'm in the same boat regarding long distance relationships (not nearly as far, only 700 drivable miles)

It is very difficult.
Well you can take my stubborn approach, stick with it and stay there for her. If it is real, then it come a time when you can be together.

There are a number of cliches that fit "patience is a virtue, if you love her let her go, if she comes back she is yours. If she doesn't, never was" etc etc.

The 2nd one has been perfect for me and my WIFE. (I point that out, as we have taken the next step to completely bring us together after having done the long distance for 2-1/2 years)
There have been many times, where's she's asked to "take a step back" or "reevaluate"

In our relationship like yours honesty and communication has been absolutely critical (not to mention the long distance phone calls )

Let her know how you're feeling, that you do not wish to see it end. If your love is true, as is hers and you both want this to become real then see yourself through it. Let her take a step back, and hopefully for you she will see that she can not stay away from you. It can be tough to say "ok" I know very very well trust me. In our relationship we are also testing the cliche "love will conquer all". For both of our sakes I'm hoping like hell its true.

I wish you good luck, and if you wish you may PM me.

Talk to her

[bigblue77]

Sorry to hear that Club_Med. I have no advice for you, but I will say I hope things get better for ya, and soon.

Jer

[SBMcG]

WOW

I'm sorry to hear about the heartache that you are going through. I can empathize with what you are going through. My first love was also a long distance relationship. The only advice I would even attempt to give you is to make a decision. You are faced with a choice right now. You can decide that school and and life in Vienna is what you want, or the girl in San Fancisco is what you want. Either way, fill your heart with the one that you choose, and don't look back.

I hope this helps.

[jkrohn]

Well all I can do is realte my experience.

I have been in a long distance relationship for 2 years now and have been with this person for 4 and a half. Is it hard? Yes it's hard, very hard, but I love her very much and know that it will work out.

I get to see her about every 3 months or so, but it is in no way enough When we were first to be apart it was suppossed to still be a relationship, but a more loose one. One where both people were able to go on with their lives as normal, see other people, pursue other intrests.

As it turned out neither of us ever did. For about 2 weeks this was how it was, then we realized what I knew all along we would (the only reason i ever agreed to such a crazy notion ) was that I couldn't be with anyone else, and neither could she.

So my advice to you? Let her take a step back. If your love is true she will realize quickly that no one else can be you. That no one else can provide the emotional connection that you share, and she will come back. And when she does come back it will be with open arms, and bring a new joy and affirmation that will enrich your relationship.

Jkrohn

[DutchMaster]

I know how you feel. Although not quiet the same. I had to leave my girlfriend I met when I lived in Munich, Germany. I had to go back to Holland to finish my school. Our relationshiip was not longer as three months but leaving her hurted at both sides. After 3 months I met here again and visited her again 5 months later. The last visit I noticed the sparks where gone. Although we had a great time we both knew it was over. I guess she wasn't Miss Right after all. At the moment I don't have many problems with it anymore.

As for you, you seemed to be really in love with her, meaning she is Miss Right in your eyes. Its really frusting for you and her that you don't see each other that much or even have to wait 6 months or so. Your relationship goes through the difficult test of them all. The test if you (she) can be faithfull to her (you) and wait till the time you will be together.
She seems to can't handle the test anymore. Still I would try to keep in touch with her. If you really want you can move a mountain with the power of love.
Don't give up with her or she will give up on you. Be strong my friend!

[wyvrn]

My wife and I did the long distance relationship. Separated by only about 400 miles, more at times (she moved around for school rotations), but the distance seemed bigger. I drove just about every weekend down to see her, I don't know how many hours/days/weeks worth of sleep I lost in that three years, but it was worth it. Plus our relationship was strained because we tried to fit in a weeks worth of time into 36 hours. Your situation is harder though, not seeing her for a very long time. If you broke up, no one would be to blame. You are both human after all.

But maybe this will cheer you up: I had dinner a few months ago with a friend, and she introduced me to a guy who had just been reunited with his wife after 14 years in a prison camp in SE Asia. They had only been married a short while before she was moved to another camp. She eventually got sponsored to the United States and lived her for years and years waiting for her husband's release. Even weeks after they united, at our dinner, you could see the glow in their faces. Even though the man was haggard from his captivity, I believe they were at peace with one another almost instantly. So no matter how long the wait is between you and your loved one, there will come a day when you will come back together and you will think it is all worth it

Peace.

[Knothead]

Dear ClubMed,

I really debated with myself if I should reply to this, but I don't like what I'm hearing here. Buddy, my heart goes out to you, and I SO understand...but...It just doesn't sound good.

The reason the lady wants to "take a break" or "have a trial separation" etcetra, is because she can't take the frustration of a relationship where she just plain can't be with you; and it sounds like she needs to test the waters in her own backyard. Don't forget, she has her hopes for the future too...but the bottom line is always, 'look out for number one'.

By this, I don't mean to cast aspersions on her character; to have the heart of a sensitive and romantic man like you, she must have a character worthy of that attention...but I think this is just human nature.

I would dearly love to tell you something different, I think you are looking for reassurance. But you can lose so much more than the initial pain of 'now'...by hanging on to something where there is such slim odds.

By all means, stay in contact, don't lose touch, but what I'm saying is be prepared for that bad thing...

God, I feel like crying myself...Take care, and heal, Brother.

[Germ]

cm, I feel for you. I know what it is like to lose someone. My fiance was killed in a car accident last January and I still cry over her sometimes.

I do think, if it is meant to be, it will be. It's possible she is trying to let you down easy, or she may be completely honest about what she is saying. I know it's hard, but life must go on. You have to accept this. It sounds as if she has made up her mind. If she truly loves you, you'll be together again.

Hang in there my friend. And don't sit around and mope. Get out of the house and do something fun.

Germ

[Knothead]

ClubMed is not recieving PMs.

Just wanted to tell you, cm, we're here for you. Do something nice for yourself, like Germ said, and KNOW that it will be o.k.

O.k.?

Todd