How Operating Systems are like Knights:
In the realm of the Mighty King Gates who has
pulled the sword from the stone and slaughtered
everyone with it, comes the knights of the MS
Table:
Sir DOS:
Plain complexion and no armor. Rides very
stablely on his mare. He vary rarely falls, but
knows only the basic combat tactics and is very
difficult to talk to, since he speaks and
understands no more than eight-letter words. King
Gates plots to murder him.
Sir Windows 1.0:
Sir DOS's twin brother with a bad toupee. He falls
off his horse quite frequently and knows no more
than Sir DOS. Just as difficult to communicate
with due to his obsession with eight-letter words.
He was killed in his first battle. King Gates
Pretends this one never existed.
Sir Windows 3.x:
Sir Windows 1.0's best friend. He is a wee bit
more stable on his horse than Sir Windows 1.0, yet
not as good as Sir DOS. He's got some really neat
designs on his shield but still does not know much
more than Sir DOS. Sir Windows 3.x has yet to
overcome his devotion to eight-letter words. King
Gates is always asking, 'Why can't you be more
like that nice Sir Windows95?'
Sir Windows95:
Sir Windows 3.x's Brother. He's got the same
designs on his shield, but his armor is very
shiny. Knows advanced combat skills, but never
really puts them to use. Not confined to eight-
letter words anymore, but it depends who he's
talking to. Claims to be able to converse with
many people at once, however if he tries to
coverse with too many, he'll fall right off his
horse and land on top of somebody. King Gates is
proud of this one.
Sir Windows NT:
Sir Windows95's tough-guy uncle. He's got duller
designs on his shield, but the same shiny armor.
His armor is virtually impenetrable, but a pain to
get into and impossible to get out of, all he can
do is add more layers. Falls off his horse every
once in a while, and everyone else goes right with
him. Can converse with many people at once without
falling off. He knows advanced combat skills and
uses them when necessary. Has the same problems
with eight-letter words as Sir Windows95. This is
King Gates' favorite thing to show off.
Now we leave the realm of the Mighty King Gates
and find the wandering swordsman of the land:
Sir UNIX:
Does not do battle and wears only chain mail. He
finds all the information he can and his only goal
is to distribute it to others who ask. Knows games
and will play them, but likes work better. King
Gates has sent Sir Windows NT out to kill and
mutilate this knight.
Sir MAC OS:
Started the fad of the shiny armor and claims the
knights of the realm of King Gates stole his
ideas. Lately his popularity has declined. And
recently he has made an alliance with King Gates.
He does know any useful battle skills and will
tell you only what he thinks you should know. The
good thing about him is that he has no problem
with word more than eight letter words.
Sir OS/2:
Spied on Sir Windows 3.x and Sir Windows95 and
copied off of them. He was popular for a time, but
now many refuse to acknowledge his exsitstance.
There is a rumor that he has a son named Warp.
King Gates Reigns high over all that is his and
destroys or consumes all that is not. And these
are the OS Knights.
My partner sent this to me. I love the line, "Just as difficult to communicate with, due to his obsession with eight-letter words"
