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Update: As I had elevated this to a bit of a sticky legal matter, I received an apology at 5am Pacific Time from the true head of customer service at NewEgg. Not only did he go to great lengths to give me a full refund, but because he actually was sincere in his apology, I have reordered the item I did need from NewEgg. While this doesn't excuse the absurdity of the situation, I more than appreciated having the matter closed.
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