Some cards have or are moving away from universal default penalties, which is good.
SShaboat and
Kuulei: Fortunately, I have not run into the same problems as you thus cannot relate personal experience on the matter, but you might have recourse if you are willing to do some legwork.
These sites may help:
FTC - Federal Trade Commission - scroll down to "Facts for Consumers".
Consumer Handbook to Consumer Credit Protection Laws Contacts for organizations that can help